Mouthwash

THIS SCENE WAS DELETED BECAUSE IT WAS JUST TOO NSFW!!!! IF YOU DON’T LIKE SALTY LANGUAGE AND CRUDE HUMOR, DO NOT READ THIS!!!

September 1st, 1980
Highway 17
Outside Merry Hill, N.C
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Corporal Daryl Evans sat in the middle of the bus that was transporting Second Platoon from their home base in Camp Lejeune to their point of departure at Little Creek, Virginia. This was his first float with Second Squad, but he’d been around the block and he’d already known most of the Marines for at least a year. The exceptions to this were the replacements. As the team leader for Fireteam Two, the replacement he was most concerned with was Private Devin Riley. Riley was a fresh cherry, right out of bootcamp. Like all boots, Evans thought he was as dumb as a post and half as useful. On the other hand, since the kid knew nothing, Evans could fill that tiny head of his with the exact information he needed to fulfill his role in the squad.

Evans thought about his other big challenge to running Fireteam Two: PFC Oliver. Oliver was a shitbird as far as Evans was concerned. He was an undisciplined wild card with no appreciation for authority. Evans had spent the past five months educating Oliver on the subject, and while there was no love lost between the two Marines, Evans had to admit that Oliver was coming around. He wasn’t a bad Marine when it came down to his combat skills, but that lack of discipline could get you killed in the field. Evans maintained a belief in the back of his mind that had Oliver been a more disciplined Marine, Second Squad wouldn’t have taken the casualties they did back at Manz. 

*******

Oliver knew that Evans wasn’t a fan of his, the NCO had made no secret of this. Oliver did his best to live up to his new team leader’s expectations, but it wasn’t as though his personality would be reshaped so quickly. Like most examples of conduct becoming illicit, all Corporal Evans had done was drive Oliver’s smart ass remarks underground. As the bus ride neared its third hour, Oliver was holding court with some other junior enlisted on the bus. 

“Okay Palmer, here’s one for you: would you suck a dick for a million bucks?” Private Palmer made a face as if Oliver had just asked him to eat a bowl of puke. 

“Hell no man, I ain’t gay,” said the Private. 

“No, no… I know you ain’t gay. We’re just talking about a one time thing, you suck a dick, you get a million dollars.” 

“I don’t know,” said Riley, the Cherry. “Once you suck a dick, that’s it. You’re a dicksucker for the rest of your life.” 

PFC Boone knew where this was going, so he figured he’d help Oliver out. “I don’t know… A million bucks would buy an awful lot of mouthwash.” 

“That’s right, Boone,” said Oliver. “I don’t think you appreciate how much money that is.” 

Palmer turned it over in his head. That was a lot of money. But he wasn’t gay. Then again, if he could get the money, and still not be gay… He could see where this was going, Oliver wasn’t going to get him on a technicality. “No way, man. Someone could find out. Like, there could be a recording of it or something.” 

“Dude, no. No recording, just you and a dick. Nobody would ever know how you got the money,” said Oliver. 

Having been assured of his anonymity, Palmer finally bit. “Okay, sure. If nobody ever knew, and it was only a one-time thing, sure. I’d suck a dick for a million dollars.” 

“Haha you fuckin’ cocksucker!” yelled Oliver and Boone as Palmer turned white, then beet red. 

“Fuck you guys,” said Palmer, knowing that he should have stuck to his guns. 

“Whoa, now he want’s to fuck everyone! I guess that one dick wasn’t enough,” said Boone, piling on. The laughing got louder as Palmer got redder. He knew he’d catch shit for this for the rest of the deployment. If he was lucky, the squad would forget about it at some point. But there was a fear in the back of his mind that this would follow him for the rest of his career.